Tak kutemu tanpaMu

Tangan terikat tanpa tali
Kaki yang mau dihentak
hanya terpasak di bumi
Mulut terkatup walau suara menjerit

Aku ingin sesuatu
Aku tahu takkan dapat kutemukan
tanpa KAMU

tanpa ketentuanMU
hajatku hanya mati di awangan
tanpa keredhaannMU
dambaku hanya kehampaan

ya Allah ya Tuhanku
leraikan rantai yang menggari tangan
ku mohon
hidupkan kakiku yang kaku
ku pinta
dengarkanlah rintih tangis suaraku
rayu aku yang hina serba kekurangan

Bicara cinta dari sudut aku

Cinta itu
adakah indah?
Benarkah manis
berkongsi duka dan tawa?

Cinta itu
wujudkah atau sekadar khayalan?
Bagai loga-maya tatkala
aku haus di tanah gersang

Cinta itu
mampukah sempurnai
aku?
Yang jalannya berdengkot
lecur kakinya dipanggang
pasir yang tandus

Cinta itu
adakah untuk
aku?
Yang rajinnya alpa
lagi lalai sukar berterima kasih

Cinta itu
bila kan aku temu?
Kala ini hati udah mula jemu
Benak sentiasa cemburu
melihat kekasih melagu rindu

Cinta...
Jika benar kamu ada
Dampinglah aku
biar aku mengerti.

ceritera cinta versi aku

mulanya rasa indah
di tengahnya rasa keliru
bila hampir berakhir dirasakan payah

di antaranya ada rindu
di celahnya ada cemburu
di hujungnya ada sendu

tika gembira meledak di dada
senyum diukir tanpa paksa
tika duka mengalir di setiap urat darah
pedihnya tampak di mata

dia perlu kamu perlu dia
kamu perlu dia perlu akuinya
tanpa kamu dia tiada
tanpa dia kamu hampa

tanpa aku cerita ini tamat di sini sahaja.

a fickle minded murderer

bunuh dalam diam
pakai pisau tumpul
tanam dalam2 dekat akal
hati berdarah tak boleh henti
mata jerit2
lidah terikat
nafas jadi ketat

aku makin tersekat...

Untitled - kerana aku keliru

Buat 'kamu' yang 'tak sempat' ku temukan dalam lembaran hari2 yang mendatang

***

Ketidakpastian kamu meracuni akalku
Walau ramahmu mencuri hati
Aku senang bila kau tenang
sendiri tanpa teman
Aku resah bercampur gundah
pabila di balik keraian
'kamu' gagal aku temukan
Jasad kamu di situ
tapi mata hati ini tidak mengenalimu
Derai tawa dan jenaka bersahaja mu
buat aku
...keliru

Bila berbicara aku dapat merasakan
dirimu peka lagi prihatin
Bila berdepan kau seolah segan
cuba menampakkan sempadan

Aku keliru
hatiku mahu
tapi akalku beritahu
"He's just NOT THAT INTO YOU"

***

and my reply would be
"thank you and there would NEVER be a day where I wake up in regret for not trying hard enough"

You+me=us?

A dedication 'to whom it may concern'.

but I bet YOU no longer have interest in my poems, right.

***

I'd like to take your hand
and dance with you
But I'm afraid
the shadows would deny me the opportunity
I'd like to whisper sorry into your ears
but the bell of present is making you
...DEAF...
I'd like to love you again
But I'm afraid I can't see
that special room in your heart anymore

If my tears be rain
and your love the sun
We shall meet again where rainbow colours the sky.

Anomali yang tak ku fahami

Kau anomali.

Observasi ku salah.

Kurang tepat, mungkin…

tetapi salah, belum pernah

Kau anomali.

Ku fikir celik lagi waras

namun kau ANOMALI

tak pantas ku baca

gagal ku kupas.

Kau anomali

sukar di definisi.

Perkabungan

Aku berkabung

tanpa jenazah yang perlu diusung

Aku berkabung

dalam hujan yang tak menitik,

tak basah dan tak sejuk

Esak ku tawa,

tangis ku dekah berderai

Hati ku tampal ‘koyok’

seperti yang kau minta

Biar deritanya tak zahir di mata

si dia yang buta

Aku berkabung

demi kau bahagia.

Hatiku...

Hatiku dah tak larat, hatiku dah penat, hatiku dah tak terbeban, hatiku dah tak tersarat. Helah kau insurans rasa bersalahmu, harapan agar kurang berat di dada, tapi penipuan juga pilihanmu, biar aku tampak BODOH lagi cela! biar hatiku terus tak terbawa…

Helahmu

dan

hatiku

tak

akan

pernah

seiring.

Cukup tamat kita di sini. Hatiku tak tertanggung!

Langit Mengerti

Langit mengerti

lalu menyimbahkan takziahnya

simpati akan aku yang kehilangan

Rakan yang ku pegang jadi sahabat

Kawan yang ku biar akrab

Langit mengerti

lalu memuntahkan amarahnya

Sahabat yang dulu ku pegang percayanya

kini berpimpin tangan dengan yang lainnya

Teman yang dulu akrab

seolah kini membiarkan aku ‘tertiarap’

Langit mengerti

lalu iring laguku sepi.

cermin vs. aku

menyampah betul pandang cermin
HOLLOW
there's a silly girl staring at me
DUMB
there's boredom in her eyes
SILENT
there's lifelessness in her figure,
MATI
there's emptiness in her heart
LOHONG
and
there's me...

Poem in progress

Unfamiliar and familiar faces
staring on me
Gazing me up and down
Some with sharp curious eyes
Some with teary read ones
Many were anxious.

I felt naked
Undress me did they?

One by one
the faces I recognized
yet failed to remember
came near me
Almost kissing my ears
they whisper.

Strange.

I heard the clock ticking near
the fan spinning fast
and beep beep beep of a weird box

But...
what were they whispering?

Wound:revisited

You are so DESPERATELY different

WHY try so hard to be someone that isn't you

WHY is there a need to prove

when we both know,

neither are victorious...

And why, why am I opening my heart

awaking my senses

to the same ol' wound again...

How do you do?

I feel like I've been
stripped off
Made to walk in front
of people, NUDE
I feel like my heart
has been robbed
off its love and tender care
I feel betrayed
My words echoed
in somebody else's
mouth and ears
I feel like I've been
stabbed, BLUNT
painfully enjoying the silence of death

How do I do?

I'm fine... thank you.

Dismantling Me

- D.i.s.m.a.n.t.l.i.n.g Me -

1. Take out the heart
2. Soak it in fakeness of love
3. Boil it with anger
4. Mince it with frustration
5. Dry the brain of reasoning
6. Season it with false hope
7. Add in accusation and hatred
8. Allow others' propaganda to mix well with all the ingredients
9. Perfect the taste of decision by letting it be influenced by the essence of STRANGER
10. Dinner is served!!!

The sun is setting

The sun is setting
My heart is bleeding
Is that the last ray I'm seeing?

It's difficult to breathe
As I lay here half dying
Is this the last air I'm inhaling?

The dusk is approaching
My nerves are numb
Is this the last day I'm living?

Love - untypical

Love
Need not a reason
To Love
Should not expect a return
Unconditional...

Cold blood self murder

I stabbed my heart
again and again
You stood there watching me
dying
The spear you gave me
blunt
It's very hard for me
to die
Yet I'm very persistent
and you stood still
watching me
dying...

Y.O.U

To stop thinking
about you
... Is to upset my brain
functionality
To stop loving you
is to cease breathing
To live without you
is
to

die

a

slow

death.

TodayAsInTomorrow

I am sad for everything that I am happy for today
I am missing everything that I am celebrating today
I am sick for I am well today
I am leaving but my heart belongs here
My teary eyes hold your cry
My love is left behind.