The Fallen buddha

I used not to have a single care
of this small world
BUT now, you have enlightened
me of its
cruelty and injustices

I used to be innocent
not knowing much
and had very little
burden on my heart

Now you have shown me
the light
that blackens the
brightest space
and consumes everything
that stands in between

Thank you for the
REVELATION!

untitled

I wrote this poem when I was doing my undergraduate studies. I can't recall the reason for touching on this issue, really. But I remember that this poem was sort of inspired by Dr. Jalal (though I can't recall the connection haha). Mind you, this is one of my 'darker' poems (though such category is subjective and open to discussion).

***

HAKCIPTA TERPELIHARA - NURUL ALIA ZULKIFLI 2011.

In the darkness of the night

She threaded her way there silently

Anger and hatred supressed

for there were mouths to feed

Around her

lustful animals waiting for a prey

though she sometimes wondered

a prey or better yet a bait;

forking out their fortunes on beds

At times she felt like running away

but the many wants, needs and dreams

relied on her fate

The sharks too could smell the blood

and would trace everyone in it

'tis a bloody relationship

Death is perhaps the mighty

answer

to such iffy mishap.

borrowed from Zachary Burt's blog

Contemplating misery

CONTEMPLATION: - is a chunky word...

When ALL is lost
then the process begins

MISERY: -

Ha..ha..har..hard to explain
suffocation of mixed
FEELINGS

If only you could still feel...

Status aku bukan satu pertunjukan

Kalau aku single

bukan bermakna hatiku tak berpunya

banyak rasaku mungkin kau

yang tak mendapatnya

Jika aku in a relationship

tak semestinya aku perlukan dia

satu sms di dinihari, satu panggilan sesudah senja

aku bukan penghias hanya di skrin blackberry

Andai aku kata it's complicated

kebarangkalian aku menemukan dia tinggi

atau hanya sukar melupakan kamu

sempatkah mereka membaca riak di wajahku?

Jika engaged itu aku

permainan ini hampir tamat

hati ini hampir terisi

tapi aku tak pasti apakah kau punya reaksi

Kalau akhirnya aku married

maka sahlah sudah aku kepunyaannya

maka redhalah aku harapkan dari DIA

dengan kasih aku kan berkata

"iya, status aku bukan satu pertunjukan"

Puisi Gelap

Percaturan Ke Neraka

Aku kesatria-kah?
Atau sekadar gurkha?
Aku panglima-kah?
Atau sekadar sida-sida?
Bukan JANTAN
Tidak pula wanita

Aku punya suara
Tapi tak mampu bicara
Aku punya ketegasan
Tapi tak berdaya memutuskan
Aku punya keinginan
Tapi kematian akal

Gerakkan aku wahai pencatur
Ku bernafas tapi tak bernyawa
Melainkan kau yang memegangnya
Aku cuma ingin MATI!

Your being my existence

I know he's out there
...somewhere
The journey perhaps takes him longer
to reach here
but im sure...
im sure he'll soon
be-near.

I could imagine hearing his footsteps
growing steadily as he comes near
I could almost see the tip of his hair
swayed by the gentle breeze
the smell of his being
lingers in the doorway

- my heart races my feet - my eyes wet my cheeks -
I could feel my lips stretching........................................
...............................a long awaited smile
makes my ears sing -


I opened the door
and stood there a while.
Lips were still stretching
the long dreaded smile
my heart was pumping high - my eyes were beating tears -
and my ears were still singing
my, my, mine.


but no. no, you were not there.
NO!


I know he's out there
...somewhere
The journey perhaps takes him longer
to reach here
but im sure...
im sure he'll soon
be-near.

Tak kutemu tanpaMu

Tangan terikat tanpa tali
Kaki yang mau dihentak
hanya terpasak di bumi
Mulut terkatup walau suara menjerit

Aku ingin sesuatu
Aku tahu takkan dapat kutemukan
tanpa KAMU

tanpa ketentuanMU
hajatku hanya mati di awangan
tanpa keredhaannMU
dambaku hanya kehampaan

ya Allah ya Tuhanku
leraikan rantai yang menggari tangan
ku mohon
hidupkan kakiku yang kaku
ku pinta
dengarkanlah rintih tangis suaraku
rayu aku yang hina serba kekurangan

Bicara cinta dari sudut aku

Cinta itu
adakah indah?
Benarkah manis
berkongsi duka dan tawa?

Cinta itu
wujudkah atau sekadar khayalan?
Bagai loga-maya tatkala
aku haus di tanah gersang

Cinta itu
mampukah sempurnai
aku?
Yang jalannya berdengkot
lecur kakinya dipanggang
pasir yang tandus

Cinta itu
adakah untuk
aku?
Yang rajinnya alpa
lagi lalai sukar berterima kasih

Cinta itu
bila kan aku temu?
Kala ini hati udah mula jemu
Benak sentiasa cemburu
melihat kekasih melagu rindu

Cinta...
Jika benar kamu ada
Dampinglah aku
biar aku mengerti.

ceritera cinta versi aku

mulanya rasa indah
di tengahnya rasa keliru
bila hampir berakhir dirasakan payah

di antaranya ada rindu
di celahnya ada cemburu
di hujungnya ada sendu

tika gembira meledak di dada
senyum diukir tanpa paksa
tika duka mengalir di setiap urat darah
pedihnya tampak di mata

dia perlu kamu perlu dia
kamu perlu dia perlu akuinya
tanpa kamu dia tiada
tanpa dia kamu hampa

tanpa aku cerita ini tamat di sini sahaja.