Will I find you there?

Dear Mama,
I had a terrible nightmare last night
I woke up this morning
Trying to find you
But you were gone

I hurried down the stairs
and went to the kitchen
where you always cooked my favourite dishes
I saw a pot of tea, steaming hot
But I couldn't find you there

I craned my neck and looked at the washing area
Where you used to stand in front of the washing machine
Stuffing my dirty and smelly clothes without complaints
I saw the machine running fast, my black pants in it
But I couldn't find you there

I walked to the backyard
The place where you had always cleaned the cat's mess
and feed them when I forget
It was tidy and they were having their breakfast
But I still couldn't find you there

I stepped inside to the dining area
You always remind us to eat together
as family
Everybody was there
But I still couldn't find you

I thought I heard your voice
Reciting the holy verses of Koran
so I ran up and looked for you
at the praying space
I saw your white telekung hanging on the wall
and your Koran opened on its rehal
But I still couldn't find you
I was tired then
I sat down and cried
Then I heard you calling my name
I turned my head and saw you there
You have always been there
All this while,
But I was too busy looking for you that I failed
to sense your presence.